Aging Enthusiastically

By Gretchen Zelek

At 63, my husband and I have moved three times in the last five years. After 35 years in Pasadena, California, we had become empty-nesters. So we decided to explore other areas to live in or, more accurately, figure out where we felt we really belonged.

Our first stop was Boston, followed by Cape Cod and winters in different places. Finally, after a couple of years, we are back. Three thousand miles away from that adventure, and joyful that we have finally figured out Southern California is where we will stay.

I am flexible, fun-loving, and I live in the moment. Growing up in a very small town where people seemed to marry their high school sweethearts and stay put for infinity, I have always been the adventuresome one.

When I was in my 30s, a friend told me her mom advised her that the thirties and forties would be her most challenging times. Those would be the years of figuring things out and constantly trying to keep it all together.

Her mom said, "Just hang in there until your 50's, it's an entirely different world, and you will love it. Your friends are real, your children will be set, and you will know yourself better than you ever expected."

She was a really fun woman. She spoke the truth, and it encouraged me to think about the extraordinary potential of aging enthusiastically.

I wholeheartedly embrace aging enthusiastically. It's my time to be myself and take risks, but allow no time for judgments or comparisons. It's my time to think outside the box and investigate the "what if's" and the "why not's".

I want to have my own answers, I want to rework equations and expectations, and I plan to do it with enthusiasm and grace.

I firmly believe that focusing on my physical and mental health keeps me happy, healthy, mobile, and engaged in life. I will never say no to an opportunity to try something new. It is easy to get into a rut.

I know many women who have started businesses, as I have, in our 50s and beyond. There are few things more challenging than that.

My friend, Dianne, discovered Turkish towels on a trip to Turkey. She now has a thriving towel business. Another woman started a successful clothing business after her friends admired her dresses from a recent beach trip. I am in awe of Cynthia, who created an organic skincare line after recovering from breast cancer. Others have opened yoga studios, catering businesses, dog walking services, or become private trainers.

By no means do you need to start a business to age enthusiastically. But remember you have experience in life and it should make you confident to try new things. You are a force to be reckoned with, whether climbing a mountain at sunrise or jumping rope for the first time in 45 years.

In my business, Donuts and Pie Fitness, I share ways to age enthusiastically. One of my favorite interviews was with Elaine LaLanne, the wife of Jack LaLanne. Fit, healthy, and happy, she was well into her 90s. She shared her ARCH philosophy of life:

Attitude: Are you someone who says “I can” or someone who says “I can’t?Resist foods that are undermining your life.
Consistent eating habits, work habits, living habits.
Harmony and happiness. Find it.

Trying new things is not only an adventure, it is fabulous for neuroplasticity, another critical aspect of aging enthusiastically.

Neuroplasticity is the ability of the brain to form and reorganize synaptic connections, especially in response to learning or experience. Trying something new = grow, a synapse = help your brain. If you don't want to try something different, do something that will get you moving.

There is a saying that the best exercise is the one you will do. Even a little bit of exercise is better than none for your body and your brain.

Recently, on a beautiful day walking in Santa Monica, I overheard a conversation between two women as they passed by.

One woman said, "Oh Robin, I can never remember what that word is called." Her friend responded, " Jane, I keep telling you, it's called neuroplasticity."

After they passed by, my husband yelled ahead to me, "Did you hear what they said?" He knows my passion for all things neuroplasticity- but also for my love of humorous conversations.

Aging enthusiastically relies on a healthy brain, and humor as one of its components. Feeding my brain with beneficial nutrients as well as exercise and lots of laughter makes my day.

I recently spoke with Meaghan B Murphy, editor-in-chief of Women's Day Magazine and author of Your Fully Charged Life, a book about filling every day with "yay". She has created a Happiness Tool Kit based on research in neuroscience. It opened my eyes to how vital resilience, fulfillment, mindfulness, and finding joy is in the everyday.

She was delightful to speak with, full of energy, positivity and very sincere; obviously having found her "yay" and wanting to share it with me.

I learned that laughing is really good for my body, immune system, brain function, emotional intelligence and confidence. Go figure, something so pleasurable could be so good for me, too.

Looking for something new and different, I took a Laughing Yoga class, streamed live from India. Before the instructor, Dr. Madan Kataria, started the class, music played, and the participants danced freely to warm up. It was fun to see people from all over the world dancing to the music.

Once Dr. Kataria began, the laughing exercises were combined with breathing techniques. The "fake" laughter eventually turned into genuine laughter. It was a hoot. Studies show that the body cannot tell the difference between "fake" and "real'' laughter, which was clear only five minutes into the class.

I find that I laugh a lot when I am with a bunch of women, especially when we are volunteering for a good cause. Volunteering at this stage in my life gives me such joy. I know I am making an impact, I am doing the right thing, and I have a voice. Even during the pandemic, every meeting, whether on Zoom, Facetime or email, made me feel connected.

Some of my friends have moved, and unlike me, they are not coming back. Once their kids went off to college, some friends have drifted away, and some, unfortunately, have passed.

I also had the opportunity to reconnect with women I met over 30 years ago when we were in "Mommy and Me" classes or even "Gymboree." Even though time has passed, we have become even better friends. I now have the time and inclination to nurture my friendships.

The one thing I have learned about aging enthusiastically is that I need to surround myself with an assortment of people. I can't shut out people with whom I disagree. I have learned that differing perspectives, albeit not always something I want to even entertain, make things more interesting. That's maturity and aging enthusiastically at its finest. As long as we have each other's backs and respect one another, being different should only enhance our friendships.

In truth, we should all be aging enthusiastically our entire lives. It should not be something novel to try once we hit our fifties- and yet, there is no better time to start than right now.

Gretchen and Annie of Donuts & Pie Fitness